TURKISH BATHS

Baths - the history
It was the ancient Greeks who first realised just how much fun one could have with a bar of soap and a couple of friends. In the early days the Greeks had to rely on natural hot-water springs for their foam-filled frolics; the Romans, however, were able to apply the latest engineering technology to create purpose-built bath houses complete with extensive underground heating systems.

Down the years, the bathing tradition continued. The Byzantines loved to lather, the Mamlukes and Ottomans were keen scrubbers and the tradition has survived to this day. The nearest thing that the West has to the communal bathing concept that I can think of is the pub, a venue for socialising, smoking, drinking and relaxing. The Turkish bath is much the same - although of course, being an Islamic country, the drinks are non-alcoholic.

What to do when you're in one
There is no mixed-sex bathing; women either have their own section, or the bath will set aside women-only times.

On arriving, you'll be shown into a private cubicle for changing. The attendant will furnish you with a cloth to wrap around you and a locker to store your valuables. Proceed from here into the hot room, a mini-sauna for sitting and sweating. You should still be wearing the cloth. Having basted in your own juices for a few minutes you are ready for the essential third stage: the cleaning process. You can either do this yourself or, if you're feeling flush, have somebody do it for you.

The amount of dead skin and dirt a professional will scrape off you with his abrasive cloth is often horrendous; it must be the quickest way to lose weight. The experience usually stops just short of being agonising...but not by much. During the whole time the cloths stay on, protecting your modesty. At the end of it all you may feel a little woozy. Whilst you're regaining consciousness, the staff will be wrapping you in a number of towels and leading you by the hand to the cold-room. Here you can sit, drink tea, and relax after your ordeal. If you ordered a massage, this can happen at almost any stage of the bathing process.

Turkey and Syria have the best baths; further south the quality deteriorates, until by the time one reaches Egypt they have become, almost without exception, seedy, salubrious, health-threatening parlours of immorality. Avoid.

Istanbul baths There are two types of baths. The first is the no-nonsense, get-clean-and-get-out variety, frequented almost solely by locals. These are cheap and offer a more authentic taste of the real Turkish bath, however unpleasant that may be. The second sort of hamamis are lavish temples of hygiene where tourists and locals alike come to immerse themselves in history, wallow in the Ottoman surroundings, enjoying the knowledge that they are bathing where once sultans were soaped.

The 16th-century Çemberlitas Hamami next to the Çemberlitas tram stop is the most famous. The bath is designed with separate sections for men and women. A bath costs US$4 including soap, a towel, a locker and shampoo. For an extra US$6 you can have a massage. You can even get a shave or haircut. Near the Yerebatan Saray the Cagaloglu Hamami boasts of an impressive roll-call of previous clients (Florence Nightingale, Kaiser Wilhelm II, Franz Liszt, Edward VIII), and the 17th-century interior is stunning. It also houses a small café and bar. It is open for women between 0800-2000, and for men from 0700-2200. Prices are similar to those at the Çemberlitas.